Where to start...

In a way my life is sorting itself out, I'm happy with Hive, my rabbits are permanently together now and I'm going to the beach soon.

But theres still some stuff thats messed up, my nan has gone forever, mum might have cancer as well now we're waiting for the test results and the biggest part takes the most explaining...

... the ex, part of me still cares about him and wants to just talk and go back to being friends after all we're suposed to be adults and able to sort these things out. Deep down I do still love him and wonder how he is, if he thinks about me...the usual. But the other part of me, the horrible part that I hate wishes he would just drop dead and suffer the way he made me suffer, that he would just disappear into oblivion and never return. I hate this part so much but its still there. In an attempt to deal with this part I've lost all ways of contact with him, blocked and deleted on msn, deleted number off both phones, on ignore list on WoW and anything he ever gave me in a box in the loft till I decide what to do with it all. This must make me sound like a bitch and I feel like one but its the way it is, part of me hates him and wishes him dead but the other part is still in love with him.

Anyway I've got Hive now and all my friends both from college and on WoW so who needs history causing pain.